Month: December 2004

Hi there folks!

I hope you all survived Christmas. I did, and I’m very looking forward to New Years Eve. I’m currently working on a few articels but nothing is fleshed out yet.

But I’m going to share a funny joke with you that made me smile this morning:

Items For Prison

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?”

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the “Grandma Moses of Jail.”

Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?”

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards, grinned and said, “I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games.”

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, “Why are you so smug? What did you bring?”

The guy pulled out a box of tampons, smiled and said, “I brought these.”

The other two were puzzled and asked, “What can you do with those?”

He grinned, pointed to the box and said, “Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller skating…”

The number 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything according to Douglas Adams’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, one of my favorite books. I like that very much. Just 42, nothing else, its so simple! When I returned from a trip to Mexico earlier this year; there where 42 Dollars left in my pocket. I took it as a sign and decided to not change them back to Euro. They are still in my purse and I intend to keep them. I got the answer to all questions in my pocket!

There is also another reason for keeping those 42 bucks. I’ve heard a couple of stories of people who immigrated to the USA, who had only five Dollars in their pocked when they arrived, and today they are Billionaires. Imagine what happens if I immigrate to the USA with 42 Dollars! I’m going to be a Zillionaire! Not that I would want to immigrate to the States, but hey, never say never!

And for those of you who currently wonder if I’m completely out of my mind… Smile and don’t worry, I’m going to take a long vacation soon and everything will be fine after that :-)!

We all learn something important every now and then. One of the “big” mistakes that I made in my life was to describe a woman as “very nice” when she asked me what I think of her. Just nice? Wrong answer… I was in BIG trouble! While I meant it in a very kind way, she felt like she was downgraded. Well, we actually dated for about two years and during that time she would mention it every now and then, not in a very angry way, but still, reminding me just how much it had bothered her.

Nice is just the wrong way to describe a woman! If I describe a girl as very nice, it actually means something like “alright”, not very exciting etc. Nice is almost an insult. A woman needs to be more then “nice”. Incredible, Fantastic, Amazing, Fabulous! And not just that, at least something in addition, like absolutely, totally, or completly.

I’ve learned that lesson now. So when I recently was asked by a woman what I think of her, I just smiled, took an extra second and said “Absolutely gorgeous…” And thank God, gorgeous is still a word that means something to a woman! No complaints, just a very big smile on her face! And what did she said when I asked her what she thinks of me… (You are going to like this)

“Very nice”

So – do I feel insulted? Am I’m “just” a very nice guy? Hell no! It doesn’t really matter to me what word was used to describe me, it is much more important how something is said. And in my case, “very nice” meant just as much as “Absolutly fantastic”.

I was going trough my outlook calendar today. It has a cool feature for things that need to be done. Today I realized that I haven’t checked the reminder to “smile” for almost an entire week. Yep – that’s right, usually I remind myself every morning to smile every now and then. I try to enjoy the simple things of life. Not to stare at my screen the entire day and forget about the beauty of each day.

Smiling makes me feel so much better, even on a day like this, when its cold and fogy.

Yesterday I got my credit card bill, which painfully reminded me how much fun I had in London. In fact, those five days rank as the most expensive vacation ever – calculated on what I spent per day. But it was so much fun that I don’t mind that I did spend a bit more money then usual.

I’ve met way to many people hanging around in hostels, arguing that they can’t go anywhere because they don’t have the money. What’s the point in going to Costa Rica and staying at a hostel in Monteverde when you are to greedy to pay the taxi to get to the rainforest? The hostel-experience and the chances to get laid are much better in Thailand, at only a fifth of the price compared to Costa Rica. When I travel, I always make sure that I have enough money to do and see whatever I want.

Well, but back to London… I did not visit a lot of expensive sights this time, just the London Eye. But this time I did enjoy going out at night and spend a little fortune to get into a club and drink a couple of Smirnoff Ice… I enjoyed taking a girl out for dinner in Soho in an Indian restaurant and a concert of a band called Gomez, a band that I did not even know about before I bought the tickets. Christmas shopping on Oxford Street – Sure why not?

And then there are those things in London that are free of charge, like Speakers corner on Sunday, something I never miss, or the Tate Modern, my favorite art gallery, or just walking along the river Thamse with a beautiful girl – Priceless! I don’t mind a Euro that I spent in London. Lots of wonderful memories. And isn’t that what traveling is all about?

This is such a funny joke, that I actually decided to share it with you! So today, now blogging, just loughing! Hope you enjoy it!

Between the ages of 15 to 18, a woman is like China or Iran. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential, but as yet still not free or open.

Between the ages of 19 to 21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half-discovered, half-wild and naturally beautiful, with bush land around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 22 to 30, a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well-developed and open to trade, especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 31 to 35, a woman is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty. Between the ages of 36 to 40, a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half-destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 41 to 50, a woman is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 51 to 60, a woman is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically un-patrolled, but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 61 to 70, a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all-conquering past, but alas, no future.

After 71, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography Of A Man: Between the ages of 15 to 70, a man is like Germany. A strange landscape but filled with beer and thoughts of dodgy porno movies.